Stupid people are everywhere!
"Last summer," says Bill Engvall, "I got a flat tire and pulled into a gas station lot. The attendant walked out, looked at the tire, and asked, 'Tire go flat?' I kept a straight face and replied, 'No, I was driving down the road when all of a sudden those other three just swelled right up on me.' Without batting an eyelash, he nodded his head and said, 'Yep. The heat'll do that.' What else could I say? I just reached intomy briefcase and handed him his very own Stupid sign."
For the first time in print, here are more than 200 classic "Here's Your Sign" jokes―along with silly product warnings and some favorite family stories. Bill's hilarious look at the ridiculous things people say and do will keep you laughing.
I was carrying out a bag of garbage the other day and my neighbor yelled across the fence, "Are you taking out the trash?" I said, "No, I'm going to feed our pet rats." Here's your sign!
After fishing with a buddy, we pulled our boat into the dock and lifted out this big string of fish. A guy on the dock asked, "Y'all catch all them fish?" I said, "Nope. We talked them into giving up." Here's your sign!
|About the Contributor(s)||Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall has been doing stand-up comedy for more than 20 years. He got his first big break on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, was named Standup Comic of the Year at the American Comedy Awards in 1992, and had roles on the Designing Women and the Delta Burke Show. Bill's popularity has soared, however, since he joined Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, and Larry the Cable Guy in 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour,' which has had two movie releases and spawned Blue Collar TV' on WB.
|Publish Date||Sep 29, 2005|